I'm thinking a lot putting this post on the blog. It feels too personal. But hey,I already suffered for about 2 years becos I'm thinking I'm the only one who think such a thing like this. When my son already going to school and I meet more people(Moms), then I know these feelings are normal.But, it can be a monster if you do not have any ventilation. I wish I knew sooner that it's okay to hate some part of my duty as a mother. Cos anyway, I knew that it's just temporary. Soon my boy will be a big kid, and I don't want to feel sorry for things i don't do for him just because I'm whining for myself on his early years. So here it is. Mothers of toddler years, be strong and have fun. You're not crazy at all.
If there’s something can affect me so much, it’s having a kid.
Dualisme sakit dan gairah bangga/senang adalah sensasi yang terjadi, persis seperti peristiwa kelahiran.
He robed my budget for buying chick-lit and useless-small pretty things.
He caused me ended up in a 1 year-without-haircut
Dia menjauhkan gue dari cat,pensil, scanner, browsing beautiful things, dan membuat gue mempertanyakan keberadaan gue sebagai makhluk berkemampuan kerja profesional.
He tested my endurance. On 10 pm he falls asleep. I’m going out. Eat a full plate of rice. On 11 he cries. I breastfeed, and he sleeps again. I’m going out again. Cook some vegetables and onion for his breakfast. And he cries again. I made him some milk. And he asleep. I opened the door, and he cries again. There goes my midnight me time, and the breakfast that haven’t done yet. What I hate most, when the boy already wake up early in the morning, and there's no food to eat.
If there’s something I wanted to tell, it will be:”Hey world, I’m excruciatingly in pain!”
On this point,
Would you change it with……
living abroad, maybe?in a beautiful apartment, going fabulous place with Sam?
Noted as a gifted illustrator, received wide publication, and traveling around the world?
Got a job for ur own children storybook, paid very well?
If you ask me, yes I hate it so much, but will I trade it with something else? My answer is,
Kata Float dalam lagu “Sementara”,
Percayalah hati lebih dari ini
Pernah kita lalui
Takkan lagi kita mesti jauh melangkah
Jangan henti disini
Happy second mother birthday. To me.